Thursday, July 15, 2010

My #2 Pencil

My   number  two  pencil
I    used   it    to    stencil
This  pencil  is   wooden
And    stuffed  with  lead
The   color,  dark  yellow
Of  an  orange  Marigold
A   bright   pink    eraser
Like      a piece          of 
Soft       bubble       gum
A  small  tube of  power
It scribbles  down  ideas
Pencils'  uses  are  many
I   wish  that   they   just
Cost   a  penny,   no  tax
Found   at  office   stores
And   in  desk  drawers
They start to shrink
Until  they just
Disappear to
Absolutely
Nothing
Zero
#2

Written by, Eighth Grade Barret [circa 2001]

Thursday, May 20, 2010

What do you have to say for yourself?

There are things for which I wish-
I'd find the strength,
To spake or spew
To let them break
First me,
Then you.
And after that they'd crystalize
And blisterize
Then steal your sight
And restore mine.
Maybe then you'd understand
And write a book about the day
You forced my hand;
I ran away.

Severe Fortuna,
Sitting blind,
I've stolen your power
And cracked your spine.
How quick it was the time ran out
And kicked you down,
Down,
Down,
Down.
Now you're alone
And it's your fault.

A loneliness that makes you cry,
It came because you were a lie.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

we all live.


Yesterday I spent all day with a friend in a city. In this city there is a famous market. Within the market there are many vendours and shoppes. As we walked, we came to a perfectly nondescript second-hand book shoppe. The walls were entirely covered in books; there was no room for anything else - hardly room to stand. But, there we were inside this shoppe, browsing the shelves for whatever our Freudian-subconsciousness was searching. The shoppe-keeper had a friend and her daughter visiting. The young child strolled around darting between shelves and piles of unsorted books. Her mother was speaking Italian with the bookkeeper and whatever they were talking about it was sure to be scandalous. I could tell by the arm waving and the rumpus her laughter was causing. I was drawn to a shelf and before I knew it there was a book in my hands: Notes from the Underground, by Fyodor Dostoevsky. I thumbed through the pages waiting for some wisdom or wit to thrust its arm out and begin to strangle me - but nothing came. I decided to turn to the very last pages of the book - you know, the blank ones where the story is completely over. Scrawled in the margins in perfect mid-twentieth century American cursive was this:


We all live by ideas out of books.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

the conclusion solution.

in high school every year when the yearbook was released it was the signal that school was over, regardless of the teachers' meager attempts to control the class and stifle yearbook signing and quiet the anxious summer chatters. 

friends would exchange yearbooks and memories.
but for some reason when it came time to sign one of my closest friend's yearbook - i would always say, "oh? i'm going to see you so much this summer and i have loads to write, let's just do it later - besides my hand is tired."

and that is how it went: freshman, sophomore, junior and senior year. we never signed each other's yearbooks. those blank pages just sat all summer, festering - spotless and forgotten. but our friendship didn't go neglected, so really - what did it matter that those pages were left alone and sharpie-free?

well, that is sort of how i feel about writing this conclusory posting. i don't think i'm saying goodbye forever [even though i already have a blog]. i'm just coming into my own. i have so much more to say.

but seeing as this has been declared necessary - i will  attempt to stammer out something.

i've learnt a lot from this class, really. and it has helped me sort through some goals that i've been trying to figure out. i've really enjoyed the author spotlights - like many of you my summer reading list is grow[n]ing, but i have a goal to read 10,000 pages this summer, so it will work out.

this class also reignited my belief that primarily a text should be read to enjoy the story - then if deemed worthy of analysis, it should be analyzed until we are filled with new insights and wisdom. BUT i have a fear of analyzing something against the intentions of the author. and so often i shy away from heavy analysis. i mostly try to just enjoy the text for what it is. which is why i like rhetorical analysis so much, because you get to focus on the text exclusively of other ideas or texts. we are allowed to say, "what do these words in this order mean to me?"

this post is turning long and i'm starting to forget exactly what i'm trying to say, and i'm saying a lot of things about me - but i can't help it, mine are the only eyes through which i can see. and i can see my own nose better with one eye closed, but who cares about that anyway?

goodbye class.
[and anyone else reading]
feel free to come back anytime.
i will still find my way here.

b

Thursday, April 1, 2010

on exercise.

Exercise is how we justify
just
one
more
piece.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

the comma.

when i write i take a lot of care in the placement of my commas. and i hate it when they get "corrected" because they are "unnecessary". whether a comma is necessary or not is generally* a matter of opinion and personal taste.


*i say generally because there are rules, but i don't feel like getting into it right now. you can read a book on it/should already know them.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Toys, or a poem about them.


Long forgotten on a shelf that is low,
Some still and broken, others just dusty.
A once loved stuffed bear named rusty -
Awaits his fate, his heart beats slow.



Long gone are child-feet and their pitter patters
She sits, he sits, reminiscing about the past.
The children now grown, oh how fast
Flew the time, all that remains are the whispers



Of laughter and dreams and nightmarish screams
Soothed by the wise hands of a mother, tender.
From the shelf she pulls, a bear – the nighttime protecter.
And the boy sleeps peacefully, bathed in moonbeams.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

i've been sort of half-heartedly working on a book recently. it hasn't been going well though - my ideas and words aren't coherent, nor are they even semi-cohesive. but, last thursday something happened to me - an idea came and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it. i can't wait for school to slow down a little so i can finally get the ideas out - in a way that will mean something. 

and i have been working on a villanelle. i took it as a challenge from sister steadman, when she said how hard they are to write. and.... well, as expected it is coming, but slowly. i haven't wanted to rush it because i want it to be good.

my mother came to town last weekend and it was so fun to see her. she is coming again with the rest of my family in a week and a half - that will be wonderful too.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Marilyn Monroe and How Andy Warhol Cornered Her in a Bubblegum Electric Universe.

i just wrote a short paper on these prints of Marilyn Monroe. 
i am pleased with how it turned out. 
my favorite sentences from it are:

It is unrealistic, brash, gaudy and rebellious.
It refuses to be ignored and screams for my attention.
I love it and hate it for those very same reasons.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Part Duex.

In the process of writing the sonnet it I sent a copy to my father, he was an English major and I wanted some of his input, because there were many parts that just weren't sitting right. He suggested that I write another poem, same topic, but ignore rhymes and rhythm - to see what happens. Although I like the Sonnet, for its form and structure, writing a poem just to get out exactly what I wanted was necessary. I was able to include so many more details that were important to me - important to the story of our travels. 

This is the second poem is a structureless poem, on the same topic.

California: asymmetrical, a long coast.


You and I, us three, plus them, we make plans.

We draw a map, a line from here to there.
Each forms his expectations.
What he, what we'd like to see, to sing.
Late and long the nights grow, they pass.
Still we plot, and scheme our California dream.
Of little else we talk, or think or breathe.
Nothing more, but California dreams.
Our eyes are wild, but patiently we wait.

Off we go, silently into the night.
On our chase, our chase of the sun - 
And our eternal summer.
On and on, across the pavement,
We listen - mostly to the strange breathing of ourselves
And of the automobiles, ours too.
A strange rhythm, asymmetrical,
But beautiful - young and deep.
Like the blood in our veins,
As it flows, sweet, innocent - but running.

To gaze, at the glaze, the stones under our feet.
A tree is growing like our friends
And their ship - it sails through this.
The lights are glowing in our eyes.
Maps,
Photographs,
Curtains of glass.
Slowly to a close,
Our eyes too,
Close like bordering letters in the alphabet.
Or objects in the mirror, closer than they appear.
And the wet pavement could be a mirror.

Our California, California nights.
Dancing in the roadway, the speedway.
We ride the down highway. 
And though we own the sky,
We'll share.
Pounding to the beat,
We sing, we put, 
Our feet just where they had to go.

And then we sleep upon the sand,
A rest from our cares - our annoyances.
The waves, they crash, distantly.
The city sleeps.
The neighbors and pubs sleep too.
The car sleeps.
The sea creatures, are likely asleep,
But who is to say for sure?
We sleep, we need it.

The clouds cover us, cover all.
All who sleep, and all who don't.
Awakened by the rain - it pours.
A race to escape, dampened by the drops.
As they fall, we fall - we tumble like them.
But, no one is alone, no one is left.
We sleep in the back, in the seats, on the floor.
The morning came, so did the sun.
And thankfully everyone is happy.

We sleep, because we need it.
We need it.
We need it.

We see a storm through the airwaves,
And we hear our shaken earth, cry.
But, we pray, we eat.
The ocean tried - 
To swallow us whole, one swift gulp, gone.
But it spit us right back out,
Maybe we aren't suited for the blue.
Our deepest respect to her majesty we give.

And even though we wash the sand off our feet,
It seems to find a way back.
Onto our shoulders, and hair, and inside or behind our ears.
But, we don't mind our crusty skin - 
Our smiles make all the difference.
Certainly this is what happiness is like.
But, nobody minds, or bothers 
To explain it all to me, or to anybody,
And they don't need to,
We all understand; it is all understood.

Time spins around,
The sun is setting on our California dreams,
And across the desert sage.
At moments we sing, but we listen too.
We asked for much, but we got more.
And a large portion of the moon, lent his light to us,
Lent us his smile, he is our other guide.
Along with maps of paper,
Maps of the solar system - 
We are covered with nightdreams,
Crusty like our skin,
And the grains of sand,
We try to ignore as they spill through the glass.
Telling us that time is running.

We, children, look back.
Our eyes long,
Our lashes droop,
A glance at the night ahead and
The corners of our mouths turn down,
For inside we suppress the urge -
The urge to frown.
Not to dwell on what's to come,
We just miss our summer sun.
And so our eyes return to the way we have just come.
From the California sun
And guide our hearts back.
Back to the westest bit of sky.
Where each night,
The sun does lie - still,
Warm enough and big enough -
It seems like it was made just for us.
But, who can say that for sure?

so much to plunder.

Last week when our class was over [and after I sang in my choir concert] I piled into a giant van with friends. We drove through the night and woke up in California. It was a weekend for the books. As we were driving back my muse struck, me and I had a vision for a California sonnet - one that captured our trip. Well I've been slaving/stewing over it since we got back.... it has caused me to lose sleep, put off homework, and eating - but at last it is "done", at least done enough to share. [Cause we all know that poetry is never "done."] It took a big direction change from my original idea, but it lives now.


We, California.


Before we go to where we oft have dreamt,
The maps and plans from weeks and nights of talk

Grow wild, like weeds in a lawn unkempt.
Oh, will it come? Could we speed up the clock?

We slept in back seats as the rain poured down,
We hid inside until the morning lights.
The crash of waves, in our sun-laughs we drown.
Our California, California nights.

We drive away with more than we had asked,
The desert sage and open land across. 
In our sweet, but crusty nightdreams we basked.
A moon arose, full, new and young like us -

The children. Looking back with longing eyes 
From our night drive, to the westest of skies.


*** Also thank you to ALYSE! for giving me some great suggestions for improvement on this.